Illustration Friday: Escape.
It is time to get serious. I understand that in many ways it makes perfect sense that I'm still adjusting to all of the changes that have happened since my fiancee went back to work a year ago. Moving from our tiny little town of Solvang to LA, leaving my close friends behind, going through a major career shift of my own, getting engaged, blah, blah, blah. I understand these things can be difficult to transition through. But good grief I am so ready to get out of these cycles. I am feeling more determined than ever right now to build a better, more well-equipped toolbox so I can climb even higher mountains.
This is, in many ways, a wonderful step forward. A few years ago, when I set out to fill my inner backpack with all the things I knew would come in handy when my energy, mood and spirits dipped, I was trying to get prepared for the most basic necessities. To put it another way, I set out to build a new home for myself, and my first step was to build the foundation. I have had quite some time to make sure that foundation is solid and I can count on it. It has taken some time, but I do feel secure knowing I have what I need within me to get through certain difficulties.
This past week I have sat still on that foundation, but this time it hasn't been quite enough to pull me out of my slump. I know sometimes I have to allow things to move through me in their own time, but there is also a time to stand up and fight harder for what you want. I consider what I am going through now as the next step towards building this house. It is time to create a larger structure - to erect beams, supports, drywall and windows. It is time to open up my toolbox and add to it in a big way.
Exactly how I am going to do this I am not quite sure, but I have a few ideas:
* Work with a personal coach, none other than the Super Hero herself Andrea Scher. She is beginning a new business as a life coach, and when I received her email yesterday announcing this I knew it was a sign. Therapy might help with the things I am struggling with, but I am much more interested in working through these issues and discussing them in the context of creating concrete goals and methods for dealing with and moving beyond them.
* Continue creating, creating, creating. I worked on one painting for most of yesterday, and I feel a sparkle inside everytime I look at it. Doing this work feeds me in the most beautiful and fulfilling ways. It is the greatest thing I can do for myself, and I am so fortunate I am able to do it everyday.
* Make a daily list of my "wins", accomplishments, and things I am grateful for. Everyday. It is far too easy to get focused on all the things that did not get done in any given day.
I am going to start here and see where it takes me. I feel inspired by the fact that this time around I am working harder to lift myself higher, rather than trying to dig myself out of a dark hole. A few years ago I hit rock bottom, and since then I've managed to get myself on steady ground for a good stretch. It's time to aim higher - it's time to get on a ladder and REACH.