I'm Not Messing Around Anymore

Illustration Friday:  Escape.

It is time to get serious.  I understand that in many ways it makes perfect sense that I'm still adjusting to all of the changes that have happened since my fiancee went back to work a year ago.  Moving from our tiny little town of Solvang to LA, leaving my close friends behind, going through a major career shift of my own, getting engaged, blah, blah, blah.  I understand these things can be difficult to transition through.  But good grief I am so ready to get out of these cycles.  I am feeling more determined than ever right now to build a better, more well-equipped toolbox so I can climb even higher mountains.

This is, in many ways, a wonderful step forward.  A few years ago, when I set out to fill my inner backpack with all the things I knew would come in handy when my energy, mood and spirits dipped, I was trying to get prepared for the most basic necessities.   To put it another way, I set out to build a new home for myself, and my first step was to build the foundation.  I have had quite some time to make sure that foundation is solid and I can count on it.  It has taken some time, but I do feel secure knowing I have what I need within me to get through certain difficulties.

This past week I have sat still on that foundation, but this time it hasn't been quite enough to pull me out of my slump.  I know sometimes I have to allow things to move through me in their own time, but there is also a time to stand up and fight harder for what you want.  I consider what I am going through now as the next step towards building this house.  It is time to create a larger structure - to erect beams, supports, drywall and windows.  It is time to open up my toolbox and add to it in a big way.

Exactly how I am going to do this I am not quite sure, but I have a few ideas:

* Work with a personal coach, none other than the Super Hero herself Andrea Scher.  She is beginning a new business as a life coach, and when I received her email yesterday announcing this I knew it was a sign.  Therapy might help with the things I am struggling with, but I am much more interested in working through these issues and discussing them in the context of creating concrete goals and methods for dealing with and moving beyond them.

* Continue creating, creating, creating.  I worked on one painting for most of yesterday, and I feel a sparkle inside everytime I look at it.  Doing this work feeds me in the most beautiful and fulfilling ways.  It is the greatest thing I can do for myself, and I am so fortunate I am able to do it everyday.

* Make a daily list of my "wins", accomplishments, and things I am grateful for.  Everyday.  It is far too easy to get focused on all the things that did not get done in any given day.

I am going to start here and see where it takes me.  I feel inspired by the fact that this time around I am working harder to lift myself higher, rather than trying to dig myself out of a dark hole.  A few years ago I hit rock bottom, and since then I've managed to get myself on steady ground for a good stretch.  It's time to aim higher - it's time to get on a ladder and REACH.

Comments

[Arapça müzikler]

abba too!
love dancing to abba! http://arapcamuzikler.com

[Marilyn]

I look forward to reading about what dicoveries you make in your personal coaching journey with the always life-affirming Andrea.

I've been meaning to ask (appropros of nothing here)...did you just get the biggest kick out of "Sideways" having lived in Solvang? (We just recently saw it.) :)

[Kerstin]

I love that: "get on a ladder and REACH" - good thing I am not afraid of heights!

The one thing that I know helps me out of a slump or to move on when I feel stuck is to GET DOING! Stop thinking and living inside my head (easily done when I spend a lot of time on my own and away from friends) and go out there and DO. The life coaching is a great idea, good luck with that!

And that's a beautiful illustration, wonderful colours.

[kristen]

so beautiful---just added your blog to ma site:)

[Aravis]

I admire your spirit and determination. Good luck reaching your goals!

Your illustration is really lovely.

[kelly]

abba too!
love dancing to abba!

[Feisty]

I can feel your excitement and your determination. Go kick some ass, miss!

[kelly]

i love andrea scher! she seems to have
such a funky spirit. do you know her.
i would love to get one of her superhero
necklaces. good luck with the coaching.

[maria]

Even though I've been through a lot of transitions and can probably recite the entire text of Transitions (by William Bridges ... great book) since I've read it so much ... I still struggle with knowing when I should (1) just be gentle with myself and trust that I'll come out of a slump in my own good time, or (2) give myself a good swift kick in the butt! Sometimes I think I tell myself it's okay to do #1 and use it as an excuse when I really should do #2, just like you're doing, so I find a lot of inspiration in this post. Thank you!

[wynlen]

Beautiful illustrations. I like the colors you have used. Good luck with the coaching.

[teahouseblossom]

Pretty inspirational! Good for you. I need to make time for things like this.

[Holly]

Wow! That is a full plate. I appreciate the life coach thing. They do wonders for setting goals and such. My husband is a life coach and personal trainer. One thing he always tells his clients is the difference between coaching and therapy is this- coaching discovers and therapy uncovers. Good luck to you. Great list by the way. cheers.