Learning Curve

Here's where it started: a layer of paint.

From there I applied my first layer of papers, which I applied with spray adhesive.

And then I kept going:  more paint...

More paper...

More paint...more paper...

Paint, paper...wings!

And then I decided to pull everything back in terms of color and contrast by adding another layer of  "Titan Buff" paint...here is the piece with this layer about a third of the way across the painting:

Here's what I've learned:  spray adhesive doesn't work very well on wood.
So here's what I'm doing now: after spending many weeks applying all these layers of paint, molding paste and paper on top of the intital spray adhesive-applied layers, I now have a thick, textured piece...with a lot of air bubbles in it.  I suppose I could simply decide to make those bubbles part of the texture and pretend I intended to create those, but they are driving me crazy.  Because of this, I am now slicing across these air bubbles and pulling back the layers of paper:

...then glueing them back down to the wood with a combination of Elmer's, more paper and another layer of molding paste:

With this, I feel like I am basically doing repair work, having to tear everything apart and piece it all back together, then apply more materials so it doesn't look like a wounded soul, all stitched up and scarred.  I will let these latest applications of glue and molding paste dry over the weekend, then maybe, just maybe, I can finish it next week.

I will admit that at this point I have very mixed feelings about this piece, and feel more than a tad tempted to rip everything off and start over.  This piece has taught me a great deal about what doesn't work, and while these are valuable lessons, I also feel frustrated over how much paint and other materials are being sacrificed in the name of creative knowledge. 

But that is the deal - learning what doesn't work creatively and what materials aren't right are just as important as learning what works, and frustration is sometimes a necessary piece of the creative puzzle.  I think I am pretty lucky in that I rarely come up against ongoing such irritations when I work, and I rarely have such a hard time finishing pieces.  I have had to walk away from this particular piece so many times it is beginning to be funny (sort of).

This creative journey is clearly not over, and I still do not know exactly what this painting will mean to me, say to me, pull out of me.  Will I want to hang it in our foryer, evidence of a hard-won interior battle or will I set it outside with a sign that says "FREE", wanting to be rid of it forever?  Right now I don't know, and that is OK.  This story is not yet over.

Comments

[Colorsonmymind]

This post did so much for me-on so many levels.

I just can't get the words down. How I wish I could chat with you.....

namaste

[emily]

I just happened to stumble upon your site this morning :)
For my senior show in college I did a collage work with acrylic paint. What I used to layer my papers with was acrylic gel medium. It is also a cool way to add depth by a slight translucency to your paint medium. Good luck!! Your painting is so much fun! (here is a link of the stuff i've done with gel medium if it helps to make more sense: http://www.flickr.com/photos/emilyamiller/255065977/sizes/l/in/set-72157594303628335/)

[tina]

yes...........its all in the process, bubbles and all.sounds like the energy couldn't stay contained, so you ruptured the bubbles and created windows of exposure....love it!!!!!you could just glue them down leaving the windows open to breathe........or take more in

[tina]

yes...........its all in the process, bubbles and all.sounds like the energy couldn't stay contained, so you ruptured the bubbles and created windows of exposure....love it!!!!!you could just glue them down leaving the windows open to breathe........or take more in

[Jenny, Bloggess]

Totally fascinating. Personally I love the idea of being able to read at least a little bit of the papers. It's like I'm easedropping on the artist.

[Kate]

Air bubbles with mixed media pieces drive me CRAZY. Grrrr. But here is one trick I have learned, all by accident--let's say there is paper with air bubbles in it. Get the paper wet (really wet) and then press it down and smooth it out. Make sure the canvas is flat when you do this, and keep it flat when drying. When the paper dries it will also contract, and take the air bubbles with it, mostly. Since you're experimenting, what's a little water, right? ;-)

[megg]

Thank you so much for sharing this journey. I loved seeing your layers and seeing what you were doing ot make them - and I also loved seeing that you and your art aren't perfect - that things are hard and full of bubbles - that sometimes you have to rip it off and start again. You make me braver. You make me want to try again and I am so grateful for this!!!

[creativelyselfemployed.com]

I miss experimenting like this and am so glad you're documenting it!! xoxo

[linni]

Which ever way you go...at the end it will be PERFECT.....
I agree...part of the journey...part of who you are!
P E R F E C T ! xx

[Steph]

i agree with lisa. the hidden layer is the best part. in each person, it is often the hidden layer that is the most revealing.

[susannah]

but surely it is a reflection of us human beings - that we carry so many perceived flaws and scars and imperfections, but it's those things that makes us unique.. make us STRONGER x

[indigene]

I love that you're willing to experiment! It can be frightening as well as exhilarating! I start out that way sometimes, but then when I start really loving the piece, I stop, afraid that I will wreck it! I know, coward! I live vicariously thru you! :) Keep up the great work! How's the mannikin and where did you purchase it? Let me know. Hugs!

[lisa]

I. LOVE. IT.

I love the hidden first layer, "tell your story". Even if you decide to tear it all off and start over, it is all part of the journey.

I am learning so much from you.