Attention

[Santa Ynez, CA :: Taken last month]

First off, many thanks for everyone's comments and suggestions regarding the sudden disappearance of my address book.  I have an appointment at the Apple Store today, when I will haul in my computer and pray my data can be recovered.  Regardless of what happens with that, I will then have to come home and call our tech guy to try to solve a problem with our Airport unit, another issue that came up this week out of nowhere and isn't going away no matter what I try.  This hasn't been the best week on the technical front, but I am trying to keep it all in perspective.

I have quite a lot of friends that are facing much greater difficulties than I am right now, and I have been feeling a certain heaviness in my heart this week because of this.  The tempting thoughts are, "What can I possibly do to make their pain/struggles/woes go away?"  While this is a normal response to seeing those we love hurting, I am also trying to keep in mind that everyone's journey has its own ups and downs for reasons I can never possibly comprehend.  I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea that everything in our life is pre-determined or pre-destined, but I do believe our lives play out a certain story for reasons that are unique to each and every one of us, and this includes those times when we all walk around wondering why it has to feel like such an uphill battle. 

In working through challenges and facing fears we think are impossible for us to conquer, much joy, beauty and strength can be found.  It takes effort and it can be strenuous, but perhaps in wishing my friends' difficulties would up and disappear I risk taking away the very thing that will enable them to grow more magnificently than ever before.  Saying this also feels terribly unfair to people I do not know in faraway lands whose suffering clearly does not have any rhyme, reason or purpose, and this is where the notion of freedom plays a key role.  No matter what we are facing, our ability to deal with them freely gives us the opportunity to create something strong and powerful out of the muck.  More than anything, this is what I wish for when I see my friends hurting.

I know I am on the verge of diving off into a wild array of tangents here, which is perhaps what I need to keep me distracted from the possibility that my entire list of contacts might be gone forever.  This is a problem, but it is hardly the worst problem.  Despite this and a week of spotty internet, I have still managed to have some wonderful breakthroughs with my work, and for that I am feeling very grateful right now.  Grateful for this week, even with the bumps.

Comments

[michelle/tangled wings]

thank you for these thoughts...and good luch with apple...yikes!

[tali]

Good luck at the apple store, chica! I hope they are able to recover your data. I've been thinking about putting all of my contact info in the address book so I can put it all on my iPod Touch...

[bella]

I really appreciate what you shared here, about pain and suffering and how there is room enough to hold many understandings. That sometimes there is not good reason and never will be. That sometimes we can do the best with the cards dealt to us and still struggle with the dealer. That sometimes the very thing that brings us our wounds, opens our hearts to healing where we become more alive.
So often I feel that people want ONE way of seeing hardship. I appreciate your spaciousness.