[Original collage from a new series of framed creations available on Etsy. More will be posted over the next week.]
Thank you so much for all of your thoughtful comments and questions on my last entry. Off we go...
* Do you feel the magic!? [posted by Linni]
I feel the magic all the time, and find the more I pay attention, the more I see and feel. I have learned that it is pretty easy to find what you are looking for in the world - if I want to focus on sadness and pain, I can see that everywhere. If I want to focus on beauty and joy, that exists everywhere as well. We have the choice to put our attention anywhere we want in any situation. When I need to feel the magic, all I have to do is open my awareness to it and I see it everywhere.
* Have you considered politics and running for office? [posted by Sherry]
Ummmm....no. I will be honest and say I am about as cynical as it gets when it comes to politics. I don't see how it is possible to operate from a place of integrity in that world.
* Do you have film making aspirations beyond your recent first attempt? [posted by Star]
This question is giving me the hugest smile!! I have been a film geek for a long time now; one of my alternate life dream jobs is to be a director. I'm still quite annoyed at myself that I waited so long to give it a try, as it was a lot easier than I thought it would be to create something small. I'm going to keep playing (I have been filming a lot this week) but don't have any real agenda for it. At this point I'm just doing it for fun!
* How did you choose self publishing over trying to find a publisher? [posted by Violet]
What finalized the decision for me was a glimpse into my past, at Swirly in particular. When I looked at the trajectory of Swirly's success, it was strongest when I was doing it on my own. I had a big time agent and licensing deals and even with those, things did not go as well as when it was entirely my own enterprise.
It was also important to me to create this book on my own terms. A comment I hear about my work consistently is that it is too personal, but I believe this is what makes it more universal. When a larger company comes in needing to appeal to the masses, they have their own ideas about what will reach the widest audience. I understand this needs to be their focus, but for this book I was not interested in watering down what I wanted to say on any level.
* How did you choose publishing at a traditional press company compared to some of the online options like blurb.com, was it the ability to have control over quality? [posted by Violet]
Blurb books are gorgeous - they do really beautiful work - but they require you to use their templates and those did not fit the format I wanted to use. I never looked at what it would cost closely, but my guess is that it would have also been cost-prohibitive for a 160 page book, and I would not have been able to sell the book at an affordable price. The printer I chose is one I've worked with for years, so I knew they would do great work and that the entire process would be a smooth one.
* Technical question, what software did you use to edit [your film] together? As far as your processes did you storyboard first or was more editing the film together as you went? [posted by Violet]
I used iMovie on my Mac - so easy to use!! I did not storyboard anything, just made it up as I went along.
* From where do you find the courage to share the difficult juicy bits of life - either in your lovely book or here at your blog? [posted by Valerie]
I have no qualms about sharing difficult experiences, the challenge for me is how to convey what is going on without airing all the gory details. This is actually an interesting creative challenge, to figure out how to express the deeper meaning behind specific situations. I don't think people are necessarily interested in the details, I think it is more important to understand how challenges are processed, worked through and overcome. In sharing difficulties, I am simply wanting to be authentic and honest. It would feel out of integrity to me to only share the good things or to try to gloss over the truth, and integrity is more important to me than anything.
* What was your initial PUSH...the initial drive that made you realize you had to get your words and art, into strangers' hands and hearts? [posted by Melissa]
This PUSH you ask about is kind of like a big ball of energy that was formed over many years of living my life, asking a lot of questions and exploring the meaning and lessons behind everything I was experiencing. All of these experiences alongside years of creative journaling, blogging, sharing and creating began to swirl together to form an idea that became my book.
As an artist I go through this process over and over again. On any given day dozens of ideas come into my brain. Over time, many of them fade away but some of them keep coming up, evolving and growing, and I eventually reach a point where I have to follow through with them or I go a little crazy. Certain ideas reach a point where I have no choice but to do them, and this book was one of those ideas. Once I made the decision to finish it and self-publish it, doors started opening everywhere and I knew right away I was on the right path.
* How did you get through the difficult time? The time when you felt you weren't good enough or the work you were producing wasn't as fabulous as you wanted? How did you quiet those gremlins in your head? Or better yet...have you even felt any of those things, and if so how did you cope with it? [posted by Jennifer]
I will share an example from an experience I had a few years ago. I mentioned it briefly in the beginning of a recent entry in which I listed some of my more significant creative ventures. This is how I described it:
"steady, focused beginning, landed a huge license deal, brought in a business partner who then moved and took another job. End result: license deal lost, a year of work down the drain."
This was a situation where I had a contact at a large company and after months of working with them and talking to them on my own about various ideas, I brought in a business partner. This partner and I put together a huge proposal and we were offered a major contract within a week. A few months later, this partner took another job in another state and I take full responsibility for the fact that because of this I chose to end the partnership. My partner believed it could still work, I did not, and it ended. When I went to the company we were working with, I assured them I was still on board 100%, but they were no longer interested, so I essentially lost a year's worth of work in one quick instant.
This happened in December 2004. I have been through worse experiences in my personal life, but in my professional life this was rock bottom. I felt ripped off, brushed aside and completely taken for granted. And let me tell you: I was furious. By this time I had also let go of my agent for Swirly and had begun shifting away from that, so at this point I felt completely directionless, like all the work I had done for the past decade meant nothing.
There was one thing and one thing alone that got me through it: the belief that this loss meant something better lay in store for me. I had to believe this even though deep down I wasn't really sure it was true. It was a situation where I had to go completely in my head about it, because my heart was totally broken. When I say I had to believe there was something better for me, this didn't feel romantic or exciting and I didn't wholeheartedly trust it. This was a tool I was using to make sure I didn't give up. This mantra was a head lamp in a deep cave, it was a dirty, rusty machete in a tangled jungle. It was hard work, but it pulled me through.
* What do you do or tell yourself when your confidence is shaken? [posted by Jenn]
I know this might sound morbid, but I think about the fact that in 50 years or so, I'll be gone and it won't matter. I have nothing to lose by creating and putting my work out in the world. I think about my 85 year old self and what she might tell me to do. She is a great motivator; she always tells me to go for it.
* I would love to know your thoughts on manifesting your creative dreams and your thoughts on the law of attraction? [posted by Melba]
I could try to answer this in my own words, but I don't think I could say it as well as Steven Pressfield does in The War of Art, one of my favorite books:
"...the most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying. Why is this so important? Because when we sit down day after day and keep grinding, something mysterious starts to happen. A process is set into motion by which, inevitably and infallibly, heaven comes to our aid. Unseen forces enlist in our cause; serendipity reinforces our purpose."
I have experienced this over and over again - of doing my best work, putting it out in the world, and experiencing a barrage of gifts and openings that I could have never imagined for myself. But here's the catch: this all works best when we let go of expectations and allow our dreams to take us where they want to go. Our dreams will show us the way and we have to be willing to follow them.
* What was your initial push to get yourself out there? [posted by Lisa]
I know this is along the same lines as Melissa's question, so I will add a little more. My mission as an artist has always been to inspire others, to encourage whoever I can to trust themselves and create a meaningful life. This is important to me because I believe this is what the world needs. When we create a meaningful life, we glow, and the world desperately needs this light.
* Did you learn to paint in school, or just by playing and doing, picking up techniques along the way? [posted by Stacy]
I was an art major in college (Virginia Tech) and I've also taught myself quite a bit. I tend to try to figure things out on my own, but learned last month at Squam Art Workshops that continuing to take classes is a very smart idea. There is so much I don't know!!
* Rather than fearing failure, have you ever feared success? [posted by Kerstin]
I have! (This is a great question.) I always battle a fear of my work taking over my personal life and/or somehow wreaking havoc on my marriage. Stories of dual-high-powered career couples...I'm rather wary of them, because I think something significant must be sacrificed for two strong willed individuals to fly as high as they can. My husband and I are both very driven and both approach any challenge, goal or adventure with fierce attitudes. I am fearful that I will lose the ability to manage my life if things go too far with my work.
I am also fearful that people will misunderstand what I am wanting to say with my work, my writing, my book. I am not trying to stand up and tell people that if they simply do what I do, they'll find the answers they are looking for. My goal is for people to read my book and realize that they have the answers, wisdom, inspiration and strength in their very own lives to create a meaningful existence. I am not trying to promote myself...I don't see my work, beliefs, philosophies, etc. as belonging to "Christine Mason Miller". At the risk of sounding cliched, I am simply a channel, wanting to spread a message that has come to me through my observations, questions and explorations, a message I believe is important to all of humanity.
Thank you again...Happy Friday!!
