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October 22, 2008

Comments

Stephanie T.

thank you...for your words and honesty. my goodness you are brave!
your post could not have come at a more opportune time.

jenica

i make friends easily. i reach out and meet someone knew on a regular basis. with that said, i don't have great friends. i find that i have a very difficult time finding people that i truly connect with.

blogging has allowed me to find like-minded individuals who are encouraging and loving. but i have at times questioned whether or not it was real. thus squam was truly life changing for me. i found that the relationships i had carved out were true and real and sweet. i think it takes integrity to yourself to find it though.

(((hugs)))

Marisa and Creative Thursday

I already told you by phone but it needs repeating ~ such a beautiful, eloquent post. Thank you for sharing.

pixie

here, here, swirly. recreating the painful cliques of high school is what blogging sometimes feels like. i've heard it from so many women. isn't that what made most of us outcasts driven to be artists in the first place?! love to you, my dear-this was brave and honest & i always appreciate these qualities in you.

a Cagey Bee

Thank you! This post couldn't have come at a better time for me.

I've blogged in one form or another since I first started using the internet, but only recently started blogging about my art work. I've been so inspired by the wonderful community of artists. I was (& still am) thrilled to throw my hat into the ring.

The more I write and the more I think about wanting to present my authentic self, the more I've been thinking I need to put up photos of myself, of my studio, of my life. I haven't been doing this much because honestly? My life looks nothing like the lives & people I see on other blogs.

Day to day my studio/bedroom is a disaster. There are boxes everywhere, papers, art supplies, STUFF. I have no storage space & it shows.

Day to day I also *look* like a disaster. I don't wear make-up unless I'm going out. I don't put on cute outfits to stay home & paint. A splash of water on my face & a ponytail is the sum of my daily beauty routine.

If I put up pics of my authentic self, I could single-handedly launch blogland's Worst Dressed List!

While I don't want my blog to become my dumping ground for dirty laundry, I do want to be honest about the struggles in my life, the obstacles we all face while trying to find a joyful path.

I hope I can find that balance.

And I hope people like you keep making posts like this to nudge me in the right direction.

lu

i enjoyed reading your post and I have been enjoying your book. Authenticity shines through no matter what. It is what I do with my blog and like you, I don't know that my stats are huge or not. I blog for me...no one else. Hoping to put something good into the world when there is plenty of negative. Glad I found your blog. I will return.

creativevoyage

Havi at http://www.fluentself.com/blog/biggification/why-even-bother-blogging/#comments has a great article on blogging - the trick is never to let it be a measure of your self worth.

Cre8tiva

brava...much of what you write needed to be voiced...i once was a tracking fool...and life intervened and brought me nack to earth with a thud earlied this year...what was so important became less so or not so...i look forward to reading your thoughts and, when i am moved, to comment...your truth often aligns with mine...keep your truth alive and always believe in your gut...hugs, rebecca

jennlui

thank you christine for sharing this, for speaking your truth. also thank you for sharing the two links, indeed there are very interesting discussions going around! it's so wonderful to be able to share like this and feel like we are not alone.

i started blogging only a couple months ago, being hesitant for a couple years. in the end i decided to take the plunge, realizing that i really have nothing to lose and so much to potentially gain. i initially started my blog to be able to join all the great creative women out there, seeing so many friendships being created... of course i've learnt that just by having a blog doesn't mean that i'll have instant blog friends... at first it actually made me feel more alone, but i have since re-evaluated the reasons i blog and readjusted my expectations... i want to share my world and hopefully inspire others as others have inspired me. i am still so new to this whole blogland, so have limited experience... but i am so happy that you shared this...

Debbie W

So much to ponder as we allow small snippets from our lives to become somewhat public.

I am new here, as I only just discovered your blog after purchasing one of your pieces through Etsy. But I love your honesty and your ability to convey your thoughts through your art and your writing. That much I can tell is very real and very authentic. I began blogging as a way to practice my writing, as well as a way to document some of the journey that I am traveling on. My experiences with other bloggers have been very good so far, but I do understand that just as in "real life", it pays to be safe. I try not to invest too much emotion into the things that I read in bloggy-land, but that isn't always easy to do.

I'm not sure how old you are, but I am 46, and I think that sometimes age teaches us to live with a healthy sense of trust/distrust. I know that there are many things that happen today which I allow to just roll off that would have affected me differently when I was 36 or even 26. I am also sure that being in the midst of raising three teenage daughters and a twenty-something has taught me to focus on the more important stuff. But I understand your search for answers and your need to question the relationships that are forged through blogs. And I can definitely relate to your feelings.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this post. There is a lot to consider and I hope that you find peace in the answers that you find. After reading some of the well-written comments here, I can see that you have made some wonderful relationships through blogging. Focus on those and not the ones that have caused you harm. They are the ones that are truly important, anyway.

With healing hugs,
Debbie

Kate

I've been blogging for an astonishing 10 years now (I feel a bit geeky for admitting that). And when I read this:

"If anyone reading this believes I have not been made to feel left out, excluded or not cool enough for the cool crowd, you are very much mistaken. I have felt all of these things from people I put my trust in, and it has not been fun, to say the least. These experiences have inspired me to pull away completely and distrust everyone. My work there is to not allow that current to pull me too far out to sea, so far that I'm disconnected from everyone. They have made me feel taken for granted and like a total sucker, as if I somehow got pulled into someone's tractor beam and wanted so much to believe in the possibilities of our connection that I didn't see the truth of what our relationship really was (which may not necessarily have been bad, but not as geunine as I thought it was.)"

I just started to completely and totally bawl. This has been my experience on a few occasions. It hurts each time. Those outside of the blogging community probably can't imagine how it's possible to feel sad over these situations ("After all, you don't really know the person!") but my truth is that I have.

And I guess it's also true that I have not only been "pulled out to sea" but have sort of stayed there, afraid to really connect.

However, I will say that I have started to see the gift--the pattern of mistrust was *most* obvious in my relationships via blogland, but once I started looking, I saw how I had that same pattern everywhere. The gift of being able to open my eyes a little more has been a valuable one.

xoxo
As always, much love for risking honesty.

Christina

I am new to your neighborhood. : ) I got lost in your post, at times I shouted yes, at others times, I welled up.

You really wouldn't believe how I can relate to your words, this week, today.

I don't know how I found my way over here, but I feel truly blessed because I did.

I don't know you but I will be brave enough to send you love, blessings and courage.

; )


LIz

I have so many and varied responses to your post, but the main one is Wow. I think that your ability to grasp a topic from the air, and hold it on your hand, and then open that hand and let the ideas and thoughts drift and meander through your readers minds is amazingly beautiful. And then, your topic, I feel every single word and phrase, and will just say I hear you, and your brave and honest voice.

jen gray

i love you swirl girl.


bonnierose

wonderful post, and ur right, being really TRUE is what it's all about.. here here!

emily

i started my blog fairly recently but i find that i am already neglecting it. lately, i've been making a conscious effort to honor the "here and now" in my life and somehow that just doesn't match up with blogging. at least for me. i can't quite find the words to explain this further...but, based on your thoughful and profound post, i'm thinking that you'll understand.

ellen Crimi-Trent

Hi Christine,

I guess once again I have started this whole conversation with the comment I left on Marisa's blog, but that day I just felt compelled to say it. It had been swirling in my mind as well as some fellow bloggers and well when you can't take it anymore you have to let it out.

I guess my beef was with the commenters themselves more than the bloggers. I was getting sick of seeing some fellow friends "sucking" up to other blogs knowing that they particularly do not care for them. I like you cannot in no way shape or form can do this, it goes against my whole being. You hear all the time from shows like Oprah to be your authentic self and well what are we doing by "faking" it.

I believe that this is the time to really be heard and really give a voice and when you coat it with sugar all the time is it a voice worth hearing. Hey I like to give complements and get some as well but it just can't be a love fest all the time. I have seen blogs take off comments that they feel are not full of good things to say-why? Are we all supposed to be nice all the time, what good is that? I am not saying you have to be vulgar but their has to be some conversation of reality.

Anyway I am actually glad I started it all, at least for this week I have finally read some interesting comments from fellow bloggers and well its about time!!

Love your words, I am not as eloquent as yourself so I am glad for your take on it all, I will be coming back again!!


Susannah

When i started blogging i had no idea where it would take me; in a way i was joining a ready-made community, but also simply using it as a platform to share my words and poetry, and talk a little about the grief i was going through. As the readership grew, so did the support, that is something i will always be so grateful for. the more bloggers i met in real life, the more i could see how blogging has the potential to connect us all; to help us feel less alone, to share the human-ness of it all.

these days i blog about my journey, such as it is, to continue the conversation with those souls who've followed me along the healing path. i have days when i wonder why i still blog, but then i'll get an email from someone thanking me for being so honest about my struggles, and i feel so humble, and glad that i can share what i've learned, even if only in a small way.

i don't care about stats, and while i value very comment i receive, i don't hang out hoping for them to arrive. i think like anything that involves human interaction, blogging can carry a lot of expectations with it, and certainly there is the potential for emotions to get involved. the issue of popularity gets mentioned a lot in the blog-airwaves, and while it's not something i've ever strived for, i can see how people can feel excluded when the blogosphere starts to resemble an exclusive club. It's easy to link to friends and bloggers and share photos, and after a while it turns into a show-and-tell of who's in your address book - geez, i've done it myself :-) i wrote a post a while back about how a blog can be (and is often) the PR version of a person's life - the edited highlights, the best bits, the stuff they're proud of, and it's good to celebrate the positives, and look on the bright side. But i was also aware of how i had a tendency to use the blog world as a stick to beat myself with, finding myself lacking when compared to the good fortune of others. Obviously none of this was particularly conscious, but i did find that when i cut down my blog reading, i got so much more done, and felt able to focus on *my* path, rather than get sucked into the energy drain that blogging can be.

Okay, i'm realising that there is a lot more i could write about this so i might post this comment on my blog too - bloggers blogging about blogging is surely blogging squared? :-)

i love you doll, and will speak to you when you get back xo

Susannah

When i started blogging i had no idea where it would take me; in a way i was joining a ready-made community, but also simply using it as a platform to share my words and poetry, and talk a little about the grief i was going through. As the readership grew, so did the support, that is something i will always be so grateful for. the more bloggers i met in real life, the more i could see how blogging has the potential to connect us all; to help us feel less alone, to share the human-ness of it all.

these days i blog about my journey, such as it is, to continue the conversation with those souls who've followed me along the healing path. i have days when i wonder why i still blog, but then i'll get an email from someone thanking me for being so honest about my struggles, and i feel so humble, and glad that i can share what i've learned, even if only in a small way.

i don't care about stats, and while i value every comment i receive, i don't hang out hoping for them to arrive. i think like anything that involves human interaction, blogging can carry a lot of expectations with it, and certainly there is the potential for emotions to get involved. the issue of popularity gets mentioned a lot in the blog-airwaves, and while it's not something i've ever strived for, i can see how people can feel excluded when the blogosphere starts to resemble an exclusive club. It's easy to link to friends and bloggers and share photos, and after a while it turns into a show-and-tell of who's in your address book - geez, i've done it myself :-) i wrote a post a while back about how a blog can be (and is often) the PR version of a person's life - the edited highlights, the best bits, the stuff they're proud of, and it's good to celebrate the positives, and look on the bright side. But i was also aware of how i had a tendency to use the blog world as a stick to beat myself with, finding myself lacking when compared to the good fortune of others. Obviously none of this was particularly conscious, but i did find that when i cut down my blog reading, i got so much more done, and felt able to focus on *my* path, rather than get sucked into the energy drain that blogging can be.

Okay, i'm realising that there is a lot more i could write about this so i might post this comment on my blog too - bloggers blogging about blogging is surely blogging squared? :-)

i love you doll, and will speak to you when you get back xo

vivienne

can i confess that i don't even know how to check my stats? i never figured it out and i'm pretty sure i don't want to!

this post (and the ones you linked to) have spoken aloud a lot of what i'd been feeling lately (and feeling kind alone in such thoughts).

much thanks for such beautiful honesty.

stef

thank you for speaking your truth here, it brings up so much for me, the blogging world, my own writing, and the validation we sometimes need/want....lots to think about.
you are a brave one!
xoxo

leah

i sometimes make the mistake of thinking that people who are more successful or popular aren't experiencing those same struggles with feeling left out, feeling on the outskirts, feeling vulnerable. it's all relative. i appreciate hearing about your humanness, christine. i think when we're at our most truthful, it's easier for others to relate and understand who we really are (which makes for great blog reading too.) :-)

rowena

I've been blogging for years, but only recently have I gotten involved in the blogging community. I initially used blogging as a way to collect essays, without realizing that the real value of blogging is the dialog and community.

Around when people actually started reading my words, I had to consider what exactly I was going to say. Did I want to present a prettily varnished picture of who I was? No. But at the same time I recognize that this isn't the place where I share private thoughts and feelings. Personal thoughts and feelings, yes. Private ones, no. Just like when I was developing my voice as a poet or a teacher, any public voice.

I am really glad that I have avoided any cattiness that I am hearing people talk about. Either I am too insignificant for anyone to care about, or I just choose not to take part in any of it, so avoid it by not being drawn in.

But I am glad that people are talking about being real in their blogs... without being catty. Real doesn't mean nasty, it means facing your OWN flaws, not picking at others'.

Oh, and about the political stuff... it just doesn't fit with the journey I am on right now... but I am glad to speak up in conversations with other bloggers. Is that a cop out? I think we have to be true to our truest journeys, even if that means we don't have the room to take up other worthy ones. I just can't fight all the fights that I would like to.

katie

thank you...words i needed today.

an eager soul

I have been blogging for three years. I have been hurt and I have been loved. I guess that will always be the way. I am more cautious now who I trust...still, I am sure I will be hurt again and loved again.

I am also sure I will continue to love and I am pretty sure I will hurt another. Not intentionally hurt someone, but one sometimes doesn't know they are hurting another. When I get hurt I try to think that the hurter didn't intentionally hurt me (I believe this, but sometimes it takes me months (and months!) to believe this!)

I like your blog.
I like your exploring and your perspective and your art.
I hope you keep sharing here.
Oh, and I really like when you ask questions that get me thinking and open a discussion.

XO,
Melba

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