A Letter to the Universe

[Commercial break:  I'm participating in my friend Nancy Mills' "blog tour" to help promote her Spirited Woman Holiday Guide over at Sparkletopia today.  Take a peek for a great interview & fabulous holiday shopping guide at 9:00am PST Tuesday, December 2nd.]

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

"...I wanted the wind to carry a letter to the universe..." -posted by Nathalie

A letter to the universe...oh, there have been many of those I have drafted in my mind over the years.  Letters of gratitude, love and joy, yes, but also letters of frustration, anger and a litany of why, why and more WHY?  As much as I try not to dwell on that tiny three letter word (is there another three letter combination that packs more punch in such a small space?), I must admit it sometimes plagues me like a mosquito in the middle of a toasty summer night, buzzing incessantly in my ear.  This question of why is  one the universe usually doesn't have an immediate answer for, but damn if I don't keep banging on her door begging for whatever morsel of insight she might have to spare.

There is the notion that our souls are on a journey, that we chose the life we are now living in order to fulfill a grander mission that only makes sense in an entirely different realm of existence.  We are here in our part of the world, with the people in our lives, doing what we are doing, because we need to work through certain things that, for whatever reason and in whatever other possible life or way of being, have yet to be resolved.  I am not a big believer in the details of our lives being entirely pre-ordained, but I do often wonder how and why (that word!) one very specific struggle I cannot seem to escape is going to serve me or take me to a place where I feel whole.  I sometimes feel like all the work I do to process and move past issues in this particular area of my life is built on nothing but sand, where all it takes is one foamy swissssssshhhhhh from the ocean to melt it all away.  And then I'm left on the shore, forced to start all over again, with nothing but a plastic pink bucket and a few scattered seashells.

Maybe there is some truth to that analogy, but maybe I'm also learning a few things each time my castle gets knocked down.  Perhaps I am moving farther up the beach each time the tide washes in, and maybe I am closer to solid ground than I realize.  Better yet, it just might be possible that I've managed to create more of a foundation than I imagined, and even though I'm still needing to rebuild, I'm not having to dig as deep in order to lay down the framework for what I really want.  I suppose the most fundamental problem might be that there are some moments in my life where I just might not feel like doing this work, but circumstances beyond my control take away my freedom to choose when I feel like putting on my hardhat and getting to it.

I guess that's what they call determination, persistance or maybe even courage.  You don't feel like making the effort, you aren't in the mood to keep trying to be the best person you can be, but you do it anyway, you keep going.  I know this sounds very searching-for-water-in-the-desert-for-ten-days dramatic, but most of the time it isn't at all.  It is making small choices throughout your day that serve your highest purpose, that journey your soul is on.  I am not always especially fond of this journey, but it has made me who I am.  I have to trust that all is happening as it needs to, that I am finding my way to grace even when I feel like I'm fumbling.

In my letter to the universe today I do not ask for the difficulties of my life to disappear or for my challenges to dissolve quietly in the night.  What I would like to say to the universe right now is that I am trying to trust that all of these experiences are necessary for reasons I might not ever fully understand.  I would like to ask for patience, and I would like to offer my continued commitment to doing my best.  And whatever kind of wind comes along to carry my letter to the universe, whether a barely there breeze or a swirling gust of feathers and leaves, I will continue to construct the best possible dwelling for my soul no matter how many times I have to rebuild.

Comments

[linda e]

isn't it great to look back and see where the threads have woven and interwoven? how seemingly random events or actions have tied certain things together, or led to a path that may not have been taken Except For... it just makes me smile! and feel so grateful (tee) to have been used in some way that created a Great Thing. Linda

[Star]

I've played a bit in the Land of Why and certainly find myself nodding along with the things you've written here. For me, the last few years have been more about seeking a greater purpose. I haven't found it yet. It seems like each time I find a different path it ends in the same place, and for the life of me I can't seem to see anything there.

[rowena]

In answer to your question, there IS a three letter word that packs more punch than "why."

"Yes."

And I understand your journey, because it sounds like mine.

All these whys... they do help to inform your understanding of the world and your journey, but the problem is there's always another why behind it. And behind all the whys is also "why me?" and a feeling that there is something wrong with the universe or you or your path.

But the truth is, you are perfect in your imperfection and so is your path and the universe itself.

That is why "Yes" has the power. It is the acceptance of what is, even the bad, and it is the faith that what happens is just part of the process, part of your journey, leading you to your... well... destiny.

[Andrea McKeen]

In your post you mention asking for patience and it struck a chord with me. One of my tiny prayers throughout my life has been simply saying to myself "strength and patience, strength and patience" in an effort to bring these things to the forefront of my life when I need them most. I watched the movie "Evan Almighty" (stay with me...:) and although the movie was pretty silly, one quote by Morgan Freeman's character has stayed in my mind. He is telling someone that if we are asking a higher power for patience, we should consider that it might not just be handed over, but that God, or whatever the higher power is, may instead give us many more opportunities to BE patient, to practice patience, and to cultivate it. Which, of course, will lead to us having more of it :)

I loved the idea and thought you might too:)

[linni]

Mmmm...yes. trusting the process xx