Staying Present

[A brand new desktop wallpaper!  iPhone wallpapers are available today too.  Links are below.]

It is funny - funny in that peculiar "Why do we humans torment ourselves so often" kind of way - that when monumental changes are potentially looming on the horizon I get very calm and loose.  I might have an initial reaction that qualifies as flustered, but before too long I melt into this zone where my mind becomes incredibly focused and I do not allow myself to go down the road of "What if this?" or "What if that?"  I learned this in 2001, when I filed for divorce in mid-October and my soon-to-be ex-husband was diagnosed with Stage Four Hodgkin's Lymphoma two weeks later.  I simply could not let myself think about the worst case scenario, and I told myself there was no need to put myself through that torture in my mind because it might not ever happen, and what a waste of energy that would have been.  And then...miracle of all miracles...less than four months later he received a clean bill of health.  That is the short version of the story, but it contains the crux of the lesson I learned in those few months:  Stay present, and deal with facts and information as they come rather than what they might be.

But I say it is funny that I can so immediately put these tools into practice in the big situations, when often times the very small ones make me totally nuts, as in, "How is the world going to continue to turn if I leave the clothes in the dryer overnight rather than fold them before I go to bed?  What on earth will people think when I wear a wrinkly t-shirt out in public?"  Little things sometimes create strange anxieties, but then when it really matters I become a Buddhist monk.  At least a little bit.

There are a few conversations going on in our household that might very well amount to absolutely nothing, or they might turn things upside down.  None of this involves health issues, so I suppose that right there is enough for me to take all of this in stride.  On top of these conversations, I was just handed an unexpected end of July design deadline, which means The Summer of My Book Proposal just got a little more crowded.  Part of my brain is actually saying, "Why aren't you freaking out?  This is throwing a huge wrench in our plans!!"  But deep down this seems so silly, not to mention that the increased pressure activity has given me an extra jolt of energy.  I thrive on deadlines and know that this will only help me manage my time that much better.  As they say, the more one has to do, the more one gets done.

If these possibilities turn into something real, I will definitely be writing about it here, but for now I'm letting them remain as they are:  Ideas.  As ideas, I'm going to let them float around my mind like tiny dandelion tufts for as long as they need to.  If they manage to land somewhere, take root, and blossom, I can give them more attention then.  For now, I'm going to get back to work and trust this current state of calm isn't just a fluke.

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I am transferring piles of photos from one computer to another, so the next 100 Books Project installment will be posted next week.  In the meantime, here is a new desktop wallpaper and two iPhone wallpapers.

Today [pictured above]:  1024 x 768 :: 1280 x 1024 :: 1600 x 1200

 

Centered iPhone Wallpaper

Be Bold iPhone Wallpaper

Comments

[pixie]

love, this was just beautiful. i love how the freaking dryer can cause such issues in some of us. the doing and the being must find their balance, eh? LOVE YOU!

[Mia]

Thank you Christine! Life is throwing me some curve balls these days and today was another one like it. I was calmest that I have been in a while. Your post just put a dot on the i.
Thank you!

[kolleen harrison]

You are such an inspiration! I love reading your posts and I especially loved your comment about...How is the world going to continue to turn if I leave the clothes in the dryer overnight rather than fold them before I go to bed? I am actually dealing with that type of stress right now and tend to quite often! My husband thinks i get so crazy over those silly things. This will help me in knowing I am not alone in these moments! So thank you!

[Ludid]

great post; i am trying to enjoy the present as i ride on the creative road to find my niche. "today: begin" tomorrow "let it be". thanks.

[Di]

Thank you, I do love your work! One day I'll actually be able to purchase it, until that day, here I am, delighted to be downloading another beautiful wallpaper.

[Christine]

Christine--that was the most PERFECT POST. You are soooooo right in letting things be what they are and taking care of the present moment now and allowing things their own timeline.
I loved hearing about your managing to not 'take on' worrying about your ex's health issues during your divorce. That, right there has made my whole day.
thank you for sharing this.