Outward

[Prayers :: Taken in Tokyo, Japan April 2009]

If someone asked me what the most apt metaphor is for my life these days, I would say it is exactly like one of those bursts of fireworks that is shot into the sky where it explodes into a hundred different directions - all outward movement and energy.  It is so fitting that I have come to use a visualization technique to calm my mind when those arcs of light start twirling and whistling in my brain (at which point I go cross-eyed and babbly.)  I imagine that same burst of fireworks in reverse slow motion, with all the energy moving back to the center, where it is still powerful yet focused.  I think this technique works well because it is always accompanied by a deep breath, and on the exhale I imagine all those bits of light settling down into one soft center where it is easier for me to keep track of everything.

The other night as I was lying in bed unable to sleep, I started playing with variations of this image, imagining all of those outward spirals of energy dispersing even further.  Before too long I had a vision of my body dispersing into tiny bits of energy, gently scattering into molecules so tiny they were imperceptible to the eye.  This was an interesting way to move through a moment of anxiety and overwhelm, because it was a literal visualization of releasing my ego (which is where all of my fears and pressures originate). 

I will continue to use both of these images when I feel myself drowning in to do lists, but there was something especially comforting about the idea that my ego, my self, my body, are only here for a short time, and it is not necessary to get wound up about all these details of my life.  It is all an experiment, every bit of it, because before too long the body I now occupy - which is comprised of millions of tiny molecules that are imperceptible to the eye - will scatter.  And maybe that is when my fireworks metaphor will play itself out literally, when parts of who I was in this lifetime will land on a leaf in Madagascar, a stone in Vietnam and far above among the stars.  In the meantime, I can enjoy the ride I'm on, and savor every deep breath.

“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue.  Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge.  Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time."
~Deepak Chopra

Comments

[Karin Grow]

I love that quote. I tried to think of something cool to say, something magnificent and poetic, but couldn't. All I can say is " working on it" Karin

[Marianne @ Zen Peacekeeping]

"Relinquishing the need to control, the need to be approved and the need to judge..." He makes it sound so simple. I guess it is so simple, it's just not always so easy. One moment at a time, huh?

[Carmen Torbus]

♥

[Linda]

maybe a piece will land here and we will visit in a treetop watching the sky and the world...yes! let's! xoxlinda

[anne]

chills: And maybe that is when my fireworks metaphor will play itself out literally, when parts of who I was in this lifetime will land on a leaf in Madagascar, a stone in Vietnam and far above among the stars.

so perfect. so YOU.

[BLL]

Indeed, it is all an experiment.
Thank you for the kind reminder today.
XO

[Jill Nalette]

I will have to print this. I really needed to read this blog today.
Thank you Christine for your words.
Smiles, Hugs and Love,
Jill in N.H.
nalettejm@yahoo.com