Bright Horizons

Although we are only into the second month of the year, it already feels like things are unfolding in a rather un-settling way.  By un-settling I don't necessarily mean upsetting or disrupting - even though those are two attributes of what a lot of people I know are experiencing right now - it has more to do with a literal breakdown of that word.  Patterns, issues, questions and fears are being un-settled, as in, whatever negative patterns, issues, questions and fears have been comfortably settled into lives and daily routines are now being stirred up, awakened and unhinged.

In other words, whatever isn't working - whatever has been lurking beneath the surface and/or creating disastrous effects - is making itself known like a sudden clap of thunder in the middle of a light rain.  Whatever has been repeatedly shoved under the carpet and ignored is now having to be dealt with for one reason or another.  Different situations, same needs - to face the challenge with honesty, to be willing to step directly into the fire so all the unhealthy layers can be burned away.

It is difficult to watch those I love struggle, suffer and feel the weight of such painful emotional,  psychological, physical and financial burdens.  Perhaps this is the most difficult experience for us humans - to let those we love walk their own path and be on their own journey, even when that journey is fraught with struggle.  I can no more swoop in and save the day than I can wave a magic wand and send all these demons away.  All I can do is sit still and listen when someone comes to my house, sits at my kitchen table and cries.  All I can do is be a broken record:  "However I can be a support system for you, I am here."  All the while knowing that if I try to step in too much - if I try too hard to help my loved one avoid or ignore the issues and pain that must be faced - I could actually be doing this person a disservice, and depriving him or her of great transformation and growth. 

Last week someone I love said to me, "This is going to be really hard," and my answer was, "Yes, it will be, but you won't have to go through it alone."  What else can I say?  That it won't be so bad, that it's all for the best?  No, all I can say is what is true:  "Yes, it will be hard, but I've been where you are.  Hold my hand, and I will walk with as you find your way to the other side."

As I sit in my front row seat to a variety of struggles, I feel a strange sense of excitement for everyone, because I know from experience that in these moments of hitting rock bottom, facing mortality, confronting years-ignored fears and taking action on painful decisions, there is the opportunity to evolve in ways that are hard to imagine.  But it is painful, indeed.  Letting go of an old self and the deeply-ingrained patterns embedded there is hard.  HARD.  But it is only by facing these patterns, issues, questions and fears that real growth is possible, and beyond what is hard, bright horizons await.

I'm not trying to be preachy here, I'm just trying to express that I think it can be easy to look at situations where our loved ones are struggling and make as big a wish as possible for their struggles to simply evaporate.  But without these struggles, our loved ones would be robbed of a big piece of what life is about.  It is about these moments when it feels like the world is crashing down on our heads and in that collapse an opportunity exists - an opportunity to rebuild with new materials, maybe even in an entirely new location, and to move forward in this new environment free from the burden of falsehoods.

We will always struggle.  There will always be storms.  But there will also always be days of magnificent sunshine.   And we will feel the warmth and glow of that light more deeply on our skin and in our bones the more we are willing to do the work we are called upon to do, work that just might have been waiting for us since the day we were born.

Comments

[Shannon]

I love this post because it is wise, and beautiful, and true, and brave....But what I most love about it is the clarity and heart I hear in it.

To stand beside someone on their journey, knowing their journey is one of growth and expansion is one of the best ways I know of to really love another.
ox

[pixie]

So true. So wise.

[Linda]

we are each specially blessed to know you, Christine.

[Marianne @ Zen Peacekeeping]

This is so true and so hard to remember when I just want to be able to leap in and take the burdens from my friend's backs.

I can only be here - but I can do much better at that. Thanks for the reminder.

[Melissa]

I am so thankful that you are walking by my side. You are so very wise. xo

[Rebekah]

"In other words, whatever isn't working - whatever has been lurking beneath the surface and/or creating disastrous effects - is making itself known like a sudden clap of thunder in the middle of a light rain. Whatever has been repeatedly shoved under the carpet and ignored is now having to be dealt with for one reason or another."

That is exactly where I am.

I found my way here by hopping from a link on one page to another to another in a string, and this is just what I needed to read today. Thank you for writing this post!

[andria]

Beautiful post.

[kat]

thank you, great post! i totally related to all that you spoke of. my sister is going thru great difficulties right now, and you're right, all you can do is be there for them. they have to do the work to get to the other side.