Accepting It All

Having not posted in quite some time, I had the urge to sit down and write something, perhaps a reflection on the end of the year and what 2007 might bring, despite the fact that I have dinner guests due to arrive in less than two hours and guess who hasn't even taken a shower yet?

I then discovered the second not-especially-kind comment I have received this month - the first two I've ever received during the entire time I have been writing on this blog in fact.  Come to think of it, during the entire decade plus that I have been a professional artist putting my work out in the world, I don't think I've ever received anything other than kind comments, letters, emails and such from anyone.  And now two in one month?  I find this rather curious.

I realize that the more I put myself out in the world, the more I expose myself to the insecurities, issues and mean streaks of strangers.  I know other artists, writers and bloggers who receive nasty remarks on a regular basis, so in a weird way I kind of feel like I have gone through some blogger rite of passage.  Is it inevitable?  The more we share ourselves, our work, our lives, etc. the more we risk being the object of someone else's strange desire to inflict criticism and negativity?  I suppose that in all areas of life there are unpleasant sides to everything, but I actually wonder if sometimes these things can't also be messages that we are on the right track.  If all I was receiving was negative comments, that is one thing, but if what I am doing inspires reactions on both ends of the spectrum, I can look at this as a sign that the work I am doing isn't all vanilla, so to speak.

When Sofia Coppola's lastest film Marie Antoinette was released this year, it received passionate reviews both fiercely critical and adoringly positive.  I remember thinking that as hard as the negative reviews must have been, I admired the fact that Coppola created a film that generated so much reaction on both sides.  To me this meant the film pushed limits and went beyond normal comfort zones.  Any work of art that gets that many people talking, debating and discussing is a good thing (regardless of whether or not I like it).

My initial reaction to these comments is to wonder why someone would take the time and effort to say something that will very likely hurt someone's feelings, particularly when the person to whom their arrow is aimed has done absolutely nothing to them.  But that is something I need not bother trying to understand, as it happens all the time to many people and there is no reason for me to take any of it personally.  Anyone is free to leave whatever comments they wish here and on a million other blogs and websites and there are no rules in this world that we have to be nice to one another.  There is also no requirement that everyone love my writing, my artwork, my opinions, my beliefs or anything else I might share on this website or anywhere else.  I am just one person doing the best that I can, and that does not mean I am obligated to try to please every person that stumbles across my work.

Approaching this from another angle, I even find the idea of paying attention to these comments intriguing - maybe they have a point!  Maybe there is a challenge in these comments (as so far they have not attacked me personally and I do not necessarily believe their intentions were about wanting to be cruel), something I can learn, something I need to look at.  Just because someone says something critical doesn't mean it can't be useful and/or the catalyst to looking at something in a different light.  Positive messages exist in strange guises; treasures are sometimes camouflaged to look like something we don't like at first glance.  It is up to us to decide if it feels worth looking into.

I have learned a great deal in 2006 and shifted into a space of profound acceptance of so many things that I had been resisting and fuming over for far too long.  I am actually surprised by the fact that I have been able to move on from certain difficulties as quickly as I have this year and incredibly relieved that it really is that easy to find a safe space within my own heart when I need a haven.  The world is a beautiful place, even with its dark side, and I look forward to continuing my creative journey in 2007, unpleasant comments and all.

Comments

[tinker]

De-lurking to say I love both your art and your writing, which is always inspiring - I can't imagine why anyone would feel the need to leave an unkind comment. Thank you for all the inspiration and good vibes you send out into the blogosphere. Wishing you a happy new year, with kinder, gentler comments.

[la vie en rose]

happy new year swirly! i've gotten my share of nasties in the past. it never feels good but you have the right attitude. blessings to you in 2007.

[Alexandra]

Happy New Year to you Christine! Reading your post I couldn't help but think about how when I am at my most critical of others I am usually feeling the most small and negative towards myself, and struggling with letting myself be as is, let alone another. Your attitude is just wonderful, enlightening, inspiring, and remarkable. Looking forward to continued wisdom shared here in the new year!

[Popeye]

The negative comments always jar me, at first, until I remember that what other people write says something about them in the same way that what I write says something about me and, well, those two things aren't always related. I just try to say a quiet little blessing and move on.

[Kerstin]

I think I would feel the same way about negative comments after all this time. To be honest, yours is such a beautiful and thoughtful blog, I am surprised how anyone could take offense at anything you say. But like you say, this is about people's own issues rather than yours. And kudos to you for acknowledging the mean spirited remarks and trying to find a lesson in them nonetheless. I would just treat them like a sudden itch and scratch them away.

You were my first blog discovery and you remain right at the top for me; yours has been a fascinating and touching journey to witness.

Wishing you and Larry the very best for a successful and healthy 2007!

[liz elayne]

the negative comments are always interesting. i always wonder why the person feels a need to leave them. yet, your point of view of knowing you aren't living a vanilla life, this is such an interesting way to look at it. love that. vanilla can be comfortable but really, it can also be boring...

thank you for these lessons about profound acceptance. this is sometimes very hard for me...thank you for this gentle push.

[kelly]

well i think you rock!

and i try....[try] to use unpleasant remarks as a catalyst to make me strive
for more. and then sometimes they just write nasty unacceptable #@$##@%# crap.

happy new year chickie - how i yearn to sit under a palm tree!