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July 10, 2007

Comments

Frida

You have really hit a chord with many people by writing about friendships. I reflected with interest that in the past two years I have seen three of my best friends go through very painful complications and endings with other friends. I agree that this kind of relationship dynamic is under emphasised. I actually said recently to one friend who ended a long and very close friendship a about 18 months ago that I thought it was in many ways a bigger loss in her life than the end of a romantic relationship. Thanks for raising the issue and getting so many people talking and thinking.

Cre8Tiva

great growth comes from bad choices...at least from my experience...perhaps this friend needs a life lesson beyond what shows so vividly on the surface...your thoughts have spurred me to look at my decision making and where it comes from...fear, lack, desire, peace...and how each of these decernment paths have lead to the exact place i needed to be...the lessons i learned went beyond the reasoning behind them...even though some were hard and difficult to endure...excellent writing...blessings, rebecca

Kerstin

I have read your last couple of entries with great interest.

As far as the fluctuations of friendships are concerned, I have learned to differentiate between true "heart friends" and everyone else. The special connection with a heart friend never breaks, regardless of the frequency of our contact, or the stage that we are going through in each our lives. Remember the saying "you meet people for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?" A heart friend falls squarely into all categories, but especially the latter. Does this diminish those other friendships? I don't think so, because even a friend for a reason or a season can take a valuable place in your life; until such is the time to let them go again.

Watching a friend make decisions from an "unpure" starting point can be painful. A few years ago one of my friends adopted a baby boy as a single mother without a regular job at the time (don't ask how this was possible, but it was.) I was convinced that this was just another "project" for her, because that is what her life had been up until then: a succession of ventures. I also questioned her intentions of wanting to help a little soul have a better life. She had never had a lasting and meaningful relationship with a man and to me this endeavor smacked of her attempt to obtain unconditional love at least from a child if she couldn't get it from a partner. Of course she would have never admitted to any of this and I am happy to say that whatever her true intentions were, she is actually turning out to be a great mother to that little boy. Many of her friends, including myself, did not think that she was making this decision for the right reasons, but she proved that in the end it was the right decision.

Where I don't agree with a friend's life choices I try to accept them as best as I can; and sometimes that means letting go of a friendship, or shifting it into a different place.

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