No Separation

I am still learning how easily it is to become attached to habits, patterns and ways of thinking that actually don't serve me, how comfortable those places can be simply because they are familiar even though they create a fair amount of angst.  How many times have I written of the topsy turvy nature of the past few years and all the ways my personal life has pulled me away from my creative life?  Answer:  so many times I'm beginning to bore myself with the topic.

Now that the moves are over and I have no shows on the calendar for the next many months (in fact, there are no official show dates on my calendar at all for the rest of the year, only potential dates I am now considering for this fall), I am able to embrace an approach to everything I do that isn't at all about trying to separate all the various pieces of pie that make up my life.  And this mindset isn't just about a more holistic lens through which to view everything I do, but about developing a deep understanding of the nature of what it means to be fully human, fully creative and fully alive, where it is possible for every action, choice and moment to exist in perfect harmony.   I say this with an awareness of how much easier said than done this often is, but I am also experiencing more and more firsthand knowledge that this reality exists, that it is possible for every tiny piece of my life to interconnect in a way that makes my life feel like less of a pressure-filled balancing act and more like an extraordinary, creative experiment where every act, no matter how mundane, has the potential to contribute to the kind of life I want to create.

Instead of seeing various compartments of my life as competing with one another - where time spent in one box feels like it is taking away from time spent in another - I am trying to develop an approach where all the walls and doors are gone and everything I do is part of a greater whole and plays an integral role in my creative journey.

The impetus for this leap came from the project that is my main focus for this year - my book.  A book that has been in the works in various permutations for a few years now, a book that I am now 100% committed to above any other creative project.  My mantra for the book is as follows: the book is the process of my life is the book is the process....and on and on.  I realized that one of the blocks that was keeping me from actually finishing the book was the notion that the book was somehow separate from other areas of my life, that for as long as I had too many "personal distractions" I couldn't create the book I wanted to create.

And then I woke up.

And now I am writing and running errands and creating and experimenting.  I am taking walks and traveling across the Atlantic and doodling and reading and spending quite nights at home with takeout Thai food.  I am listening to music, sweeping our patio, grocery shopping and being lazy.  And it is all part of one giant creative stew, where the more mixed up I can make things, the more interesting everything is, where I can come home from a lunch date with a friend and fill three pages in my journal with thoughts about our conversations.  Even this moment, where I am still in my pajamas, getting hungry for lunch and tired of sitting at my computer after being here all morning.  I will finish this entry, have a snack, go for a walk and then do a little dabbling in my studio.  I will pack for my trip to London and complete my business tax renewal form.  And instead of looking at anything that doesn't feel like it should fall under the category called "Creative Acts" I'll remove the categories altogether and see where all those tiny bits of inspiration and wisdom are hiding today, waiting for me to notice them, usually right under my nose.

Comments

[Frida]

So brilliant - really. You've got it going on sister. You've helped me to see that part of why my life feels a bit chaotic but so very happy and rich at the moment is that I haven't even begun to think about establishing boundaries between my studies, my book, my therapy and my relationships. It's all in the mix together and as I flow from one to the next the good bits connect up.
We are walking this amazing journey in some kind of lovely cosmic sync. xx

[Amy Lou]

i often bumble around, feeling quite guilty for spending time doing all the "personal disractions." i appreciate your perspective... that perhaps tiny bits of wisdom and inspiration are hiding right under my own nose during these "non-creative acts."

i particularly loved this:

"Instead of seeing various compartments of my life as competing with one another - where time spent in one box feels like it is taking away from time spent in another - I am trying to develop an approach where all the walls and doors are gone and everything I do is part of a greater whole and plays an integral role in my creative journey."

thanks, lovely. :)

there are so many fabulous quotes from Into The Wild... here's one that keeps me in check:

"Circumstance has no value. It is how one relates to a situation that has value. All true meaning resides in the personal relationship to a phenomenon, what it means to you." -- Christopher McCandless"

[linni]

Sounds to me as if you are LIVING!

You should consider reading "Writing begins with the breath...by Larain Herring"...it is beautiful..short...to the point...but absolutely beuatiful!

"Deep writing comes from our bodies, from our breath, and from the ability to remain solid in the places that scare us. It comes from merging with what we are writing - from dissolving our egos so that the real work can emerge through us, without our conditions for success attached to it." (from Writing begins with the breath - Laraine Herring) xx

[Mandy]

Yes! Yes! Yes! Love this post.

[Mayberry Magpie]

"I'll remove the categories altogether and see where all those tiny bits of inspiration and wisdom are hiding today, waiting for me to notice them, usually right under my nose."

I can't even fathom removing the categories, really. Do I have the courage and creative freedom to do that? I was blind to the categories, actually, until this post made me think about my barriers in a different way.

Your art and your prose inspire me like no other. I can't wait to see your book.

Many, many thanks.

Mayberry Magpie

[lisa]

"...time spent in one box feels like it is taking away from time spent in another..." THIS is where I am at. I feel like every moment is a fight with the next. What is relevant and important and what isn't is a question I ask myself almost on an hourly basis as I run through my to-do list for the day. Before I know it, the day is over, and I feel as though I have not gotten any futher than the day before. I long so badly to be where "all the walls and doors are gone and everything I do is part of a greater whole and plays an integral role in my [creative] journey." Thank you for this today.