Growing

I will apologize up front for the fact that I am going to have to be rather vague on the details of what is transpiring in my world.  Nothing is close to being finalized and  I have learned not to get attached to any particular possibility until there is a certain amount of evidence to show me it will be so.  This isn't about being pessimistic or skeptical, but about taking a deep breath and approaching any new venture one step at a time.

Having put forth this disclaimer, I feel compelled to share a tiny bit of what is going on because it is part of a larger journey - the journey of my book.  I only recently added a page on my website about it and haven't written in great detail about it anywhere else.  Various steps along this path have made it feel more and more real, and when I put that page up on my site it became a wonderful inevitability, as in, I know this will happen.

My book has gone through a variety of permutations over the last, oh, three years.  I would go through spurts of working on it, sometimes asking friends for feedback and even putting together a proposal for a book editor that approached me last year.  When I set out to create the proposal, I took it as an opportunity to get on paper the ideas that had been swirling around in my brain for many, many months.  As hard as this might be to believe, my only goal was to create a proposal I was proud of, and when I dropped it in the mail it was sent without any attachments at all.  I had done what I set out to do, the rest was completely out of my hands and I let it go.

The editor got back in touch with me many weeks later, offering profuse compliments.  She loved the book and was "blown away" by the proposal...but it seems as though books like mine - which was deemed "too personal" (a comment I have heard before about my work) by her editorial staff - had gone down in popularity over the last few years.  For the next year, I am ashamed to admit, my book stalled in a space of indecision over whether or not I should pursue other publishers or self-publish.  Back and forth, back and forth.  Getting a different opinion from everyone I talked to, until a conversation with a woman I admire tremendously who said the magic words:  "I think you should do what will be the most fun for you."

Suddenly, the decision became terribly easy:  do it myself.

Once I made the choice to publish the book on my own - which also means marketing, selling, promoting and everything in between - puzzle pieces snapped into place with resounding clicks and doors started flinging wide open.  But here's the twist:  while the universe is telling me I am on the right track, I am also being encouraged to push farther and think bigger than I had originally imagined.  Not in the sense of going for fame and glory, but in terms of pushing beyond what feels safe, comfortable and familiar.  It is as if God has come right down to my studio and eased into my comfy chair to say, "You may be moving in the right direction, but you need to reach beyond what you believe exists in the realm of possibility....you need to venture out into a territory that might even feel scary."

More than just knowing I made the right choice to self-publish, I am also being given a loud and clear message that the more I trust my work, my gut and my intuition, the more bountiful this journey will be, on every level.  It has become such a powerful momentum that it is becoming part of the book - the story of all this, the story of how the book came to be.  Because I sat still and listened to what my heart had to tell me about making my book real, the story of the book is growing in directions I hadn't anticipated, but now that it is being written that way, I can't imagine it being anything else.

I will share details as soon as I can, but for now I am basking in the joy of letting myself be taken by the current of a dream I've harbored for a looooooooooong time, an experience that isn't so much about conquering tasks as it is about letting go completely and trusting the way will be shown to me as long as I listen to the wise voice inside me.

Comments

[indigene]

Hey Luv,

I'm so excited for you! This is so wonderful, maybe you can set up a pre-order page so that all of us that want to support this swirly-licious idea can order! CONGRATS! Don't forget to call us on those hump days of book creating! Hugs, Love & Peace

[kris]

congrats, Christine, for your big decision! I think that, for some books, self publishing makes a lot of sense. Especially since you haver tons of experience dealing with the production end of things (which is where a lot of self published authors get tripped up).

Quick comment/suggestion: I'm sure you've already considered this, but just in case, I'll mention it. Have you considered trying a proprietary publishing model for your book? That's where you produce/self publish the book, but arrange for it to be distributed via One Spirit/BoMC or B&N. This sort of amalgam is becoming more and more common in the publishing work, especially for inspiring gifty books (such as what your book looks to be). It combines the creative independence of self publishing with some financial security -- especially if you get a generous order from a book club or chain.

Also, fwiw, I wouldn't take one rejection to heart from a publisher. Publishing (and editors) are so capricious. These days, literary agents are where it's at -- they're invaluable for navigating the current industry environment. But I agree with you: the most important thing is to have fun. And getting some money for your creativity is nice too -- artists should prosper!

[linni]

yayyyy!!! for trusting your instinct and going with your heart!

I love reading more personal stuff....because it works for me.
your book will ROCK! like you! into this world with such phenomena that you are going to feel like hiding...proud of you Swirly! xx

[kurt kuden]

Wow! Congrats!

I am so excited! do tell us more about your new baby!

[Mayberry Magpie]

Please share more about your journey as you take each step. In doing so, you might empower and educate others to self-publish.

This is very exciting. This little website, beautiful though it is, is not expansive enough for the vastness of your art. A book will provide another channel to set it free.

Mayberry Magpie

[Elizabeth]

oh Christine-- I can tell you with great confidence that your book is extraordinary and beyond the scope of what "publishers" can quantify in their little boxes and charts. Be so glad you are doing this on your own as every single decision will reflect your heart's desire without compromise and the result will bring light and joy and inspiration to all who come in contact with it.

You are AMAZING!!!!

[Graciel]

You are always a breath of fresh air. And inevitably, you have a needful message for me. Today is no exception. So, I'm off to do what is most fun for me.

Keep dancing. Keep lighting the world.

xo

[Milly]

If your book is anything like your websites, then I am sure it will be amazing. It will be amazing anyway! I can't wait to learn more about it, and I will definitely buy a copy when it's ready. It is all a journey, so remember to stay present and enjoy it.

[Amy]

I really hope everything goes well with the book - I've often wondered how hard it would be to do the whole publishing, publicity and release on your own. I have my fingers crossed for you :)

[melissa]

I'm getting so excited to see what you are creating! So happy that you are doing it the way that YOU want to and not what some publisher is dictating...good for you! xoxo melissa

[vivienne]

I'm very excited for you and this journey!
I so look forward to buying your book!

[Lisa]

Oh, I have goosebumps for you! I can feel your excitement and anticipation in your words! Sending up a prayer for you today that you continue to trust the captain and trust the crew...and that doors fly open for you.

[michelle/tangled wings]

exciting!!!