Trust

[Lone Bird :: Taken January 2008 in Madison, WI]

This is how tired I feel - I am in the mood to write a blog post but so comfortable in this chair, which is downstairs in my living room, that I don't want to get up and go upstairs to unload all of the latest pictures now sitting on my camera.  So on my camera they will stay, and I'll instead start this post with a photo from a trip I took three months ago because I was able to pull it from flickr.  Sometimes taking the path of the least amount of effort is incredibly gratifying, especially when you've been so on the go all week that the instant you sit down after another non-stop day you almost fall asleep sitting up.

Monday morning I flew north to Oakland, and for the next 48 hours Andrea and I whooped it up on the non-stop train of FUN.  Hiking, Nia class, shopping, re-arranging her living room, a photo shoot, lots of giggling, discussing our individual and joint creative ideas and eating a lot of yummy food.  Despite this plethora of fabulousness, it never once felt frantic or frenzied, but very natural, flowing and in the moment. We did not have a single thing planned before I landed so we were able to let the universe take us where it wanted us to go and we happily followed its lead.

Last week I was incredibly fortunate to have scored tickets to the Anne Lamott & Elizabeth Gilbert lecture at UCLA thanks to this lovely little bluebird, and while I could recount a long list of all the reaons it was inspiring, it wasn't until Anne Lamott told us about her tattoo towards the end of the event that I heard the tiny jewel that resonated with me the most.  Lamott explained that her tattoo had these words in the design:

"Trust the captain.  Trust the crew."

Apparently this was a line from The West Wing, which everyone in the audience found quite hysterical because that meant the original context in which it was said was perfectly literal.  This was a great story, but what I really love was the way Lamott turned a line from a TV episode that was about a sunken submarine into a metaphor for a deeper spiritual philosophy.

To be perfectly honest I am still learning how to trust the captain (meaning God).  This is not because I have ever distrusted God, but because creating and nurturing my own relationship with Him is still fairly new territory for me.  My spiritual path has been pretty loosey-goosey for most of my life, and it is only in the past few years that I feel like I have begun to develop a more thoughtful spiritual practice and belief system.  And I struggle with it precisely because of that word - belief system - as in, I must choose what to believe is true, real, right, correct, which implies I know with some level of certainty the facts behind concepts and questions that are, in fact, unknowable.

So when it comes to trusting the captain, this is a practice I am working on and finding great joy in the process, even though it is a journey that has no solidity or certainty in terms of absolute, knowable answers.  But as far as the crew goes, I am not sure how I could feel more rock solid.  I have written extensively on the subject of my creative community and tribe over the past many months, so I'll try not to repeat myself here.  I will simply say that this particular quote by Lamott resonated with me because it felt real to me....even the part about trusting the captain, who I am still getting to know. 

This is the joy of sharing ourselves, of expressing ourselves creatively, of putting our ideas and visions and dreams and thoughts out in the world.  It is in this sharing that our humanity can be celebrated and enjoyed.  Even if we all don't agree on the semantics of various ideas and philosophies, we are at least free to express it and share it, and it is in this expression that we can feel less alone and be grateful that another human being is able to say something we might have been feeling but haven't known how to articulate.

Trust the captain.  Trust the crew.  And share, share, share, share.  We all need one another's wisdom.

Comments

[PixieDust]

hmmmmm... share, share, share? I have peeked in on your blog often, but have never commented... sometimes I'm overcome with a shyness about intruding a space, but I so love what you have posted here and feel encouraged to share that this post resonates, it rings true, and I'm so happy I have landed on your corner of bloggyland...

:-)

[sunny]

Amen.

[Popeye]

Hm. Trust. That, in and of itself, is tempting but I enjoy the give and take of a sacred relationship in which I roll my eyes (Oh, there goes God with all that Goddy stuff, again). God and I fight like hell but with smiles on our faces (most of the time - not all - I have called God an asshole and meant it [or in this context, do I need to say Asshole?]). I'm convinced She enjoys the effort even though, at any moment, He could squoosh me like a bug. The effort counts. The effort always counts.

[Cre8Tiva]

trust is a big one for me..i have missed you...r

[Mayberry Magpie]

Share, share, share! Isn't that what's so wonderful about blogging? This amazing community of people willing to share -- ideas, triumphs, failures, doubts, joy, pain.

I enjoy your sharing so very much.

Mayberry Magpie

[patry francis]

It's such a relief when we realize that's all we have to do: TRUST.
Wonderful post, Christine!!

[Colorsonmymind]

When Deni and I were together I quickly came here and saw the amazing post where you shared the process of making one of your amazing pieces. Just the day before I was sharing with Deni how connected I feel to your posts and your processing of the world. I admire you tremendously as an artist and strong woman.

I have a strange block when it comes to writing-emails, posts, etc, so it is hard for me to reach out that way.

But here I am writing to tell you-that you rock girlfriend. You make me smile, and ponder, giggle and reflect.

XOXOXO

[steph]

i was introduced to lamotts writing in college with "bird by bird" and she has been on my favorite authors list ever since. im terribly jealous. also, i like the way you can interpret the tattoo in so many different ways depending on the situation. very cool.

[lisa]

Yesterday on the Today Show, they did an interview with Sherrie Hirsch about her new book, "We Plan, God laughs." I have never heard of her nor the book, but the title was based off of a Yiddish proverb, "We make plans and God laughs." This proverb has been playing over and over in my head since yesterday morning. I picture God sitting back and waiting patiently for me to let him drive for a while rather than me throwing Him in the backseat while I drive.
I picture him chuckling at me in a loving manner...the way I laugh at my son as he is insists that he put on his own shoes, a task in which he is not yet physically capable of doing as an 18 month old. I wait until he gets so frustrated and angry that he crumples to the ground in despair or until he looks at me for help. Then, I gently take his tiny hands in mine and help him put them on. I will continue to do this until one day, He can do it himself...just as God will help me put on each challenge if I would just let Him do so. And I need to trust that with Him, I can do all things.

[indigene]

I love Anne Lamott! What an inspirational evening it must have been. There's a lot to be said about trusting the "Captain", but in my life, I struggled with trusting the "crew". But then, I ask myself, if I'm part of the crew, can I be trusted at all times in all things? I think we're supposed to struggle with the hard questions to keep us, real, related and involved with this thing called living. It's always great to check in with you! Hugs & Peace.

[Kerstin]

You know, it's funny, but when I just read "trust the captain" I was actually thinking that the captain refers to YOU, as in you are the captain of your own ship, i.e. life. In which case this phrase would simply mean "trust yourself." But from the little I know about Lamott it does of course make more sense that she would refer to God. Either way, these are words that resonate, thank you for sharing them.