{Part One is here ~ Part Two is here.}
So where has it all taken me? And how do I feel about it all right here, right now?
As I said in Part One, all this thinking has been inspired by the time I have spent away from my computer this summer ~ away from my computer and instead getting messy in my studio and spending face to face time with friends rather than chatting on Twitter. (Again ~ I'm not trying to be critical, I'm just trying to express where all of this is coming from. See how paranoid I've gotten?) My time on the computer is limited because my time in the studio is limited, and had things continued humming along like they were before the studio, I think I would have eventually just withered up and vanished. Eventually I would have woken up and realized I could no longer call myself an Artist because I couldn't remember the last time I actually created art, and that would have been the end of it. But the opportunity for the studio came along, and ~ golden lights and singing angels, please ~ I was saved.
I now have to figure out how I can best utilize all the many, many gifts this online universe has to offer in a way that doesn't feel like a drain on my spirit. This isn't something I can sit down and decide once and for all. It isn't a problem to solve with a formula or how-to book. It is something I am going to have to continue to explore on a day-to-day basis, and my prediction is that the studio will continue to show me the way. Should I decide to share the space with the studio's main tenant on a more permanent basis ~ which will inspire more workshops, classes, shows and events ~ I will be needing to spend more time and energy focused on building a strong community locally. I know social media can certainly play a role with that, but I must admit I feel like I have a great deal more breathing room when I think about building a stronger foundation right in front of me and letting my work online support that rather than vice versa.
And perhaps there it is ~ perhaps that is the answer, or conclusion, or tiny shred of clarity, I have been looking for. I think I let myself wander a wee bit aimlessly all over this world wide web, thinking it was good and right and productive to build a strong online "platform", when this actually doesn't feed me the way I am wanting to be fed creatively, artistically or personally. I am always inspired when I take a spin around my favorite blogs and websites. I like getting little snippets from faraway friends on Facebook and Twitter. I enjoy the conversations on my blog and I appreciate so magnificently that people actually come here and read what I have to say! And I am grateful for all the ways this online world has inspired me to be a better artist, writer, friend and supporter of all things inspirational.
But I also need to get paint on my hands, and experience the thrill of feeling four hours drift by in a snap while I write a story. I need to know I am inspiring others to get up and create more than I am encouraging them to spend time online. I need to learn how to trust every step of my journey and let go of worrying that I'm not doing enough to "keep up."
(Another paranoid disclaimer: These aren't general statements about what I think everyone ought to be doing or feeling, this is only what is true for me.)
Through writing these last three posts and taking a long look at my life online, I have also been inspired to educate myself more ~ to learn more about all the ways I can use Facebook, Twitter, etc. to promote my work in a way that feels genuine ~ and also set clear boundaries and goals for anything I do online (i.e. email is for business and small chatter, not meaningful discussions about our friendship.) Because if I just sit here and "examine" all of these questions and issues but don't do anything about it, what's the point, really? I have learned a great deal over the past five years, and these lessons have revolved around my own blind spots, unhealthy tendencies and sensitivities. These haven't been posts intended to look at anyone else's behavior, only my own ~ my reactions, responses, needs, expectations, mistakes, and values. Because at the end of the day, my work in any area of my life needs to be about standing in my truth and being mindful of what I bring to any situation. It needs to be about taking responsibility for my journey ~ every step of it, every moment.
{Thank you for being with me on this journey.}
oh my goodness. . . I really needed to read this post today. I cannot express how deeply moving it was for me to read this. I can only say thank you. Thank you for standing in your truth and sharing it, and thank you for having the courage it takes to express it.
Warmly,
Elise
Posted by: Elise | July 16, 2010 at 10:58 AM
Thank you for these three posts - it's inspired me to re-examine what I'm doing off- and online, and whether or not it's the best use of my time and the best way to be in my relationships. You're an incredible writer and artist, and I just know that all of this will work itself together for you.
Posted by: Andrea | July 15, 2010 at 07:13 PM
Thank you so much for sharing these last three posts. Struggling with balance and technology issues is in the air. It's actually refreshing to me to know that everyone has these issues. I usually look at you and other artist role models and think you have all the pieces in place. While I still think you are the PERFECT artist (and angel), I appreciate that I am not alone. Love you!
Posted by: ann | July 15, 2010 at 08:20 AM
You know exactly what you're doing - and that's exactly right for you. Just look at the art you're creating: gorgeous! xo
Posted by: Tara Bradford | July 15, 2010 at 12:30 AM
You sound clear to me - your inner wisdom is showing you where you need to be right now. I trust it!
Posted by: Marianne | July 14, 2010 at 08:17 PM
amen sister!
Posted by: jeanine | July 14, 2010 at 09:32 AM