Sometimes you have to travel across an ocean, miles from everything that is familiar to you, from almost everyone you love most, to a place where one person lives, opens her home to you and provides a space of such safety, acceptance and mindfulness that it is not possible for your heart to do anything but break wide open.
Sometimes you find yourself sitting in a foreign land where the waves crash more thunderously and the wind travels more forcefully, where the color of the sky determines what your day will look like - adventurous trekking over farmland and forest or quiet hours spent examining all the intricacies of who you are, how you've become this, all the ways you've fucked up and soared beautifully and why you've chosen to live a life this committed to such intense self-awareness.
Sometimes you sit on the porch of a beach house in a town with a funny name listening to a piece of music, sobbing quietly as the birds flutter around you oblivious to the fact that your heart feels such a profound sense of peace that you think you just might dissolve into a million pieces of light right then and there.
Every journey changes us - every step we take away from our comfort zone is capable of shifting our perspective of the world and our place in it. This journey is no exception, and I will leave a part of myself behind when I return home, experiencing a sense of wholeness I cannot yet articulate, but in my bones tastes like marrow made of stars.
you had me at "thunderously".
oh how i love you so.
how these words took my breath.
i am still waiting for it to come back.
mmmmmm.
Posted by: boho girl | April 07, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Simply Gorgeous.
Posted by: Ms. Conley | April 06, 2009 at 07:01 PM
sometimes....you fall upon a beautiful soul
who takes you under her wing and supports you gently, makes you laugh and shares so
much of her knowledge, her creative mind,
eventhough you live across the world.
sometimes....you find this person, always
blessed and thankful that you have her in your life
you miss swirly mean the world to me.
much love
k
Posted by: kelly | April 06, 2009 at 06:21 AM
The house, your words. Thank you for sharing. xo
Posted by: Christina | April 06, 2009 at 06:05 AM
You make me feel homesick for my own house! This is so beautifully written. You are amazing. Miss you now. x
Posted by: Marianne | April 06, 2009 at 12:09 AM
you be brave, sister
i love your passion for authenticity
I love your fearless pursuit of truth and beauty
I love how safe and gentle you keep your heart in midst of such volcanic adventure
Posted by: Elizabeth | April 03, 2009 at 03:13 PM
I love this house! It puts me in the mind of my grandmum's homes in Trinidad and St. Vincent! Maybe all island people have a love for color! This home would put me in such a creative mode, as I'm sure it does for you!
Posted by: Indigene | April 03, 2009 at 06:24 AM
How you are able to bring us to your doorstep so effortlessly. Beautiful.
Posted by: Yoli | April 02, 2009 at 07:42 PM
I read on down your blog, catching up after a busy time here in my world and it was ... you went home and you wrote of it so recognisably.
Thank you. And you read like you arrived in safe hands to that beautiful soul who inhabits a space I often find myself envying.
Enjoy yourselves (as if I need to write that)
xo
Posted by: Di | April 02, 2009 at 01:13 PM
Oh. My!
It seems like you visited my home back home in that country I love.
Beautiful post.
Posted by: Di | April 02, 2009 at 01:10 PM
I can completely relate to what you are saying but could never put it so eloquently. What a beautiful perspective and one that I agree with completely. Lovely words...thank you.
Posted by: K | April 02, 2009 at 12:00 PM
this took my breath away.
xo
Posted by: stacy | April 01, 2009 at 08:40 PM
marrow made of stars...i'm bringing that one for lunch tomorrow. so delicately cherishable, those words. xox linda
Posted by: linda e | April 01, 2009 at 05:46 PM
your writing is exquisite, love. i know what you mean, but you articulated it all so beautifully, you took my breath away. love xo
Posted by: gypsy Alex | April 01, 2009 at 02:54 AM
Am so glad you and M are having this wonderful time together! Big hugs to you both. xo
Posted by: Paris Parfait | April 01, 2009 at 02:47 AM
It is so ironic to read your blog post today because yesterday I posted a similar reflection on my own blog.
It seems each time I venture out of my comfort zone, I encounter someone or something that illuminates a new layer within the prism of my soul. Afterward, everything I experience filters through that new layer and refracts into thoughts and perspectives I would not otherwise have had.
Posted by: Emily Valentine | March 31, 2009 at 10:06 AM
So beautifully written. I am happy you are finding such peace. Big hugs to you and M.
xoxo
Posted by: melissa | March 31, 2009 at 10:02 AM
I RARELY ever leave comments on blogs, but I have to say that, that was a BEAUTIFUL piece of writing! I so relate to what you are saying...especially this: and why you've chosen to live a life this committed to such intense self-awareness.
Thank you!
Posted by: kathryn hansen | March 31, 2009 at 09:43 AM
I was so moved by your beautiful prose. Thank you!
Posted by: Jane | March 31, 2009 at 09:10 AM
so beautiful. i often have felt that same way inside, marrow made of stars is totally it! it's like your soul dancing within.
: )
Posted by: Laura McLaughlin | March 31, 2009 at 09:00 AM
thank you.
grace
Posted by: grace | March 31, 2009 at 08:50 AM
you had me at the pink house...
Posted by: patricia | March 31, 2009 at 07:29 AM
"marrow made of stars"...yummy.
in beauty,
gem
Posted by: gem | March 31, 2009 at 05:57 AM
How beautiful. Thank you.
Posted by: Steph | March 31, 2009 at 04:52 AM
you have so beautifully described so much of how i feel about my homeland and i'm so happy you get to experience some of it and spend time with another inspirational and beautiful soul.
i miss those thunderous waves - they call to my heart
Posted by: leonie | March 31, 2009 at 03:01 AM